Author Archives: ejphil

American Jewish University to Grow New Strain of Marijuana – “Nuclear Wasted”

By Gabe Goldman NY Times Reporter A short drive from Los Angeles into Simi Valley finds the Brandeis Bardin Campus of the American Jewish University – 3,000 acres of lush and fertile soil – and soon to be home of … Continue reading

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Jewish Federations of North America to Hold 2015 GA in Sin City; Registration Fees Waived

By Mordechai Shushan The Jewish Federations of North America (JFNA) announced today that the 2015 GA will be held at Las Vegas’s Dr Miriam Hotel and Casino this coming November. As a special incentive to assist JFNA in reaching their long-claimed – but never … Continue reading

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PEW Researchers Make Mistake – American Jewry Is in Great Shape

by Dr Gabe PEW Study researchers admitted today that they had made a critical error in their collection and interpretation of data they used in painting such a dismal picture of American Jewry and its future.

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Upcoming Event: High Priest Bootcamp

PAID ADVERTISEMENT High Priest Boot Camp, June 27-July 27, 2015 – Pittsburgh, PA Did you ever want to stand in front of your congregation to bless them? Have you tried but failed to make the Vulcan “peace” sign also shared … Continue reading

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Mormon Church Offers to Purchase Unaffiliated Jews

by Dr Gabe The Ruling Council of the Church of Latter Day Saints (Mormons) shocked the Jewish world by offering to buy its unaffiliated Jews, estimated in the millions. John H. Hinkey III, President of the Ruling Council, said, “We … Continue reading

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Jewish Federations of North America Announce Diaspora-Israel Jewry Initiative Plan

Will spend billions of (yet to be raised) donor dollars to save Israel’s Jews from tapas, supermodels, and cell phone addiction. by Asher V. Rausch New York: In a bold departure from its solipsistic anxiety about institutional preservation despite numerous … Continue reading

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The Pew-rim Report – Assimilation in Shushan

by Mordechai Shushan with guidance from his friends at Makon The results of the in-depth research into Jewish norms in Shushan recently released by the Pew Foundation (The Pew-rim Report) reveal worrying signs of growing assimilation, affecting the future of … Continue reading

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