North American Federated Federations (NAFF) Inaugurates Bureau of Definitions

Three people are being recruited to staff a new office at NAFF, the umbrella organization for Jewish organizations across North America. The office, dubbed the Bureau of Definitions, aims to encourage unity and shared values across the entire Jewish people, according to NAFF head Elie “Ollie” Infree.

A spokeswoman for NAFF explained, “we need a common vocabulary and shared definitions so we know what we’re talking about. Our board feels that we need to clarify the meanings of some words we use all the time.” For example? “We’re focusing on a short list of six right now: ‘peoplehood,’ ‘Jewish,’ ‘spiritual,’ ‘peace,’ ‘pluralism,’ and ‘outreach.’ We are thrilled to be making an enormous contribution by settling those meanings once and for all.”

Asked when the Bureau is expected to issues its final definitions of those words, the spokeswoman said, “I’m not sure exactly. I asked our board chair, and he said something about ‘when the Messiah comes.’”

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